'I Was An Alcoholic By The Time I Was 17'

Friday, March 14, 2008

An alcoholic who went into recovery aged just 17 has told her story alongside three other Plymouth women to raise awareness of how lives can be devastated by addiction.

The four women, who all attend a Plymouth Alcoholics Anonymous group, shared their stories in a bid to give others hope of recovery.

Bethany said at age 17 she was feeling suicidal due to binge drinking three or four times a week - downing a bottle of wine before going out and having pints and shots.

Now 22, she said: "I was drinking as often and as much as I could. There can be an insanity around alcohol - just wanting another drink and another drink. A lot of the time I couldn't even remember how much I'd drunk.

"Towards the end I felt suicidal. I'd just lie in bed thinking I wanted to die.

"I know if I had carried on I would have died - suicide or something bad would have happened. I couldn't have felt any worse."

Bethany, whose name has been changed to protect her identity, said she started drinking when she was 13 when she would down cider in local parks with friends.

"I loved it. I love the effect it had on me. It tasted horrible but gave me confidence, took all my inhibitions away," she said.

Her drinking habit worsened from there. By 14 she was being thrown out of nightclubs for "being sick, crying and causing trouble", and was binge drinking on weeknights and weekends with friends.

She said her school work suffered and at age 17 was failing her A-levels at a Plymouth sixth form college.

"My family were so disappointed in me," she said. "A lot of them weren't talking to me. They'd had enough.

"I woke up one morning and just knew my life wasn't going anywhere."

She had heard of Alcoholics Anonymous and attended a meeting out of curiosity, and was surprised to find around 100 people of all ages and professions.

She said she didn't realise she was an alcoholic until that first meeting.

"I knew I had a problem. I would wake up feeling awful," she said. "I'd have done awful things, was promiscuous, got into trouble, lied, fell out with my friends."

"But I thought there's no way I'm an alcoholic, I didn't drink in the morning, I wasn't even old enough to legally drink," she said.

"My idea of an alcoholic was a drunk on a park bench, but it wasn't like that at all - there were all sorts of people there.

"Once I heard their stories I knew I was the same."

She added: "I have friends who drink as much as I probably did but are not alcoholics. The difference is that I tried to stop on my own and couldn't, I couldn't control it."

Bethany has now been going to AA for four-and-a-half years and has not drunk since the first meeting.

"Alcohol isn't an issue any more," she said. "I finished my A-levels, went to university, graduated and have now found a job, get on well with my family. I've been given a second chance at life."

All names have been changed to protect the identity of the women.

source: This Is Plymouth


MICKY said...


The Heresy of the Twelve Steps
by A. Orange

Step Eleven suggests prayer and meditation. We shouldn't be shy on this matter of prayer. Better men than we are using it constantly. ...
When we retire at night, we constructively review our day. ...
On awakening, let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking...
Here we ask God for inspiration...
What used to be the hunch or the occasional inspiration becomes a working part of the mind. Being still inexperienced and having just made conscious contact with God, it is not probable that we are going to be inspired at all times. We might pay for this presumption in all sorts of absurd actions and ideas. Nevertheless, we find that our thinking will, as time passes, be more and more on the plane of inspiration. We come to rely on it.
We usually conclude the period of meditation with a prayer that we be shown all through the day what our next step is to be...
The Big Book, 3rd Edition, William G. Wilson, pages 86 to 87.

The whole Buchmanite family partipates in the Quiet Time.
They sit quietly with notebooks in hand, ready to write down the messages that they receive from God.

* So, if we practice the Twelve Steps enough, we will supposedly end up in a state of mind where we are in constant conscious contact with God, and God is just always talking to us and guiding us and telling us what to do, all day long.

* We may get into trouble by doing all kinds of absurd things and believing all kinds of absurd ideas because we think that God is telling us to do it. We may, in fact, become totally delusional and crazy. Nevertheless, Bill Wilson says that "We come to rely on it" anyway.

Obviously, the "God" to Whom Bill Wilson is referring here is not a bedpan, a motorcycle, or the "Group Of Drunks" in Whom Bill generously declared that we could believe, if we so chose, just a little earlier.
It cannot even be a nice, vague "Higher Power" or "God as we understand Him"; It has to be Bill Wilson's fascist, willful Old-Testament dictator Who orders His followers around all day long, because teddy bears, door knobs, motorcycles, bed pans, and vague, foggy entities like "Good Orderly Direction" do not psychically dictate work orders and give power. So much for the freedom of religion that Bill promised us.

Follow the dictates of a Higher Power and you will presently live in a new and wonderful world...
The Big Book, William G. Wilson, page 100.

I saw a T-shirt today that said,
"I do what the voices in my head tell me to do."
I laughed.

And then it occurred to me that if the T-shirt was being worn by a Buchmanite, or a true-believer Alcoholics Anonymous member, that it wasn't a joke.

The same criticisms of the doctrine of Guidance that theologians and clergy leveled at Frank Buchman's Oxford Groups apply to Alcoholics Anonymous:

* The person who is under Guidance discards his rational thinking mind and just follows impulses that he receives from he knows not where. He abandons intelligent planning of his life in favor of following sudden impulses that just come from somewhere -- hopefully, but not necessarily, from a good source. His life often becomes erratic and impulsive, following now this moment's Guidance, and now that, breaking appointments and commitments on a whim.

* And of course, there is the unavoidable question of "What is the real source of this 'Guidance'? -- God? The subconscious mind? Or one's favorite demon?"

* There is simply no Biblical support for this psychic practice.

* Dr. Herbert Hensley Henson, the Bishop of Durham, said in his criticism of the Oxford Groups:

Groupism discloses in its conception of 'Guidance' precisely the same error as that which infects its conception of 'witness'. It 'seeks a sign'. It insists on something precise, concrete, calculable. Its temper of mind is rather Pharisaic than Christian. It seeks proofs of Divine action in what is abnormal, amazing, even miraculous. Its view of inspiration is mechanical, and its treatment of Scripture literalist. Thus it comes about that, even in the process of exalting the genuinely Christian conception of the 'guided life', it perverts and lowers it.
The Oxford Groups; The Charge Delivered At The Third Quadrennial Visitation Of His Diocese Together With An Introduction, Herbert Hensley Henson, D.D., 1933, page 70.

With all of his séances and spook sessions, Bill Wilson was constantly 'seeking a sign'.

* The people who advocate the practice of Guidance only use it to replace rational thought and intelligent thinking. I am reminded of a criticism of Frank Buchman's doctrine of Guidance:

"Guidance is only to be sought in those matters which are usually matters for reason and common sense or for principles and conscience. No suggestion is ever made that we should substitute 'guidance' for our eyesight and walk across a busy street under 'guidance' with our eyes blindfolded. In other words, that in man which he shares with other animals is honored and trusted to do its work. The reason, which most obviously distinguishes him from other animals, is dethroned."
quoted in The Groups Movement, The Most Rev. John A. Richardson, pages 75-79.
Morehouse Publishing Co., Milwaukee, Wis., 1935.

If you really "have faith" and truly believe that God is guiding you in your every activity and inserting thoughts into your head all day long, then you should have no problem with making another "leap of faith" and walking across freeways blindfolded, trusting that the Lord will tell you when to go and where to place your feet... If the Lord is capable of giving you infallible Guidance in all important matters, then surely the Lord can be trusted to tell you how to safely cross busy highways and freeways.

In Buchmanism, the best of the human mind is thrown into the trash can, while the lower centers of the animal brain are retained. Rational thought and intelligent thinking -- the best of what separates us from the lower animals -- are distrusted and discarded, while the optical centers, which even toads and snakes have, are still trusted to do their jobs properly. If anything, Frank Buchman got it all backwards. Carried to its logical conclusion, Buchmanism would reduce us to being dumb, stupid, unthinking animals who just mindlessly obey orders, or into brainless robots that are under external control.

And so will Bill Wilson's version of the Buchmanism, where you spend your life"Seeking and Doing the Will of God".


MICKY said...

If you could see & meet the the devil face to face , what would he look like? He is commonly depicted as a cartoon character in a red suit with a pitchfork or as a hideous-looking ghoul.

But neither of these characterizations is anywhere close to the truth.

If you were to meet the devil, you would find him attractive, engaging and persuasive. In reality, though he is really the prince of darkness, Satan successfully presents himself as "an angel of light" (2Corinthians 11:14).

Satan is a master of misrepresentation. He is the world's greatest advertiser, packaging his product so it seems attractive and appealing while in reality it is deathly poisonous. He wants his clients to see him as good, beneficent and trustworthy. He wants his product -sin and rejection of God-to appear enticing and inviting, and he is usually quite successful.

Satan never presents sin as it really is. He never presents both sides of the story, pro and con. He presents only what he wants us to see, something that appears fun and exciting. He wants us to focus on pleasure, on what feels or looks good at the moment. He wants long-term consequences to be the last thing on our minds while he entices us to sin.

The vast majority of people have lost sight of the real connection between cause and effect. We rarely hear or see that concept mentioned, much less discussed. Instead we hear people clamor for quick fixes to every problem, ease for every discomfort and a pill for every ailment. We seldom stop to consider the long-term consequences of our actions.

Our approach is shortsighted and foolish. "Do not be deceived," cautions Paul. "God is not mocked, for you reap whatever you sow" (Galatians 6:7, NRSV).

We live in a world that pays little attention to the long-term results of sin. We don't think through the consequences of our words and deeds, and we're constantly under pressure from a society that is built on Satan's standards and values rather than God's.

It's neither easy nor popular, considering the culture surrounding us, to adopt a different set of values and standards-those that God reveals.

As Jesus said: "If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world . . . the world hates you" (John 15:18-19). God's way will never be popular in this day and age.

Nevertheless, most people appear supremely confident that their ways are pleasing to God. They defend their religious beliefs and practices as being perfectly satisfactory and acceptable in God's eyes. They assume that all, or mostly all, teachers and churches bearing the Christian name teach the truth. Few indeed stop to consider that Satan's great deception is not only worldwide, but has deeply infiltrated Christianity.

Notice the context of Paul's words when he writes that Satan appears as "an angel of light." In 2Corinthians 11:13-15 Paul warns of "false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into apostles of Christ." We shouldn't be surprised at this, writes Paul, because "Satan himself transforms himself into an angel of light. Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also transform themselves into ministers of righteousness, whose end will be according to their works."
Wilson’s “original mystical experience” was his alleged “conversion” –a classic occult encounter: “Suddenly the room lit up with a great white light. I was caught up into an ecstasy…it burst upon me that I was a free man…a wonderful feeling of Presence, and I thought to myself, ‘So this is the God of the preachers! ‘ A great peace stole over me….”(25)

Alcoholics Anonymous Co-Founder Bill Wilson

This was not the “God of the preachers” but the one who transforms himself “into an angel of light” (2 Cor 1l:l4)-a light that often transforms those involved in the occult. The experience was so profound that Wilson never touched alcohol again. Satan would he more than willing to deliver a man from alcoholism in this life if thereby he could ensnare him for eternity and inspire him to lead millions to the same destruction!


MICKY said...

The Lord God said to the serpent,
“Because you have done this,
cursed are you above all livestock
and above all beasts of the field;
on your belly you shall go,and dust you shall eatall the days of your life.I will put enmity between you and the woman,and between your offspring and her offspring;he shall bruise your head,and you shall bruise his heel.”—Genesis 3:1-7, 14-15

Alcoholic Bloggers under a year. New people!

* Clarity at Clarity Case

* Designer Girl

* Kathym at Gospodi

* Katia at Seeking the Cranberry

* Lea (aka Molly) at Recovering Wino

* Lea at Geisha Interrupted

* Lounge Daddy

* Mary at Letting Go

* Red Cardinal

* Rob at iGrateful

* Sarah at Recovery Rodeo

* Shgrr at Dear Bill W

* Sober Chick

* Sober Steve

You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father's desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and has nothing to do with the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies. —John 8:44

Alcoholic Bloggers under 5 years

· Brad: This Unmanageable Life

· Brain Dead Genius

· Carly. Lush for life. Not posting.

· Chris at A Free Man

· Chris at the Last Chance Texaco

· Higher Powered Daave

· JJ!. A Reason a Season

· Johno. Hand in Hand with SOU

· Jonathan at My Life in Tampa

· Judith. Vicarious Rising

· Kenny in London

· Lush Girl

· Motorcycle Mike

· Ms Determined at Progress not Perfection

· Ms Dirty Dishes at Calm Acceptance

· Ms Las at This too shall Pass

· Ms tkdjunkie at They tell me to keep coming

· Redhead Gal at Journey to Recovery
· Rex. H: Whats your deepest fear?

In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.

—2 Corinthians 4:4
Alcoholic Bloggers. 5 up to 10yrs
· JohnD in the UK
· Reid. God Loving Buddhist Drunk

And the great dragon was thrown down, that ancient serpent, who is called the devil and Satan, the deceiver of the whole world—he was thrown down to the earth, and his angels were thrown down with him. And I heard a loud voice in heaven, saying, “Now the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of his Christ have come, for the accuser of our brothers has been thrown down, who accuses them day and night before our God.

—Revelation 12:9-10

Alcoholic Bloggers over 10yrs

* Christine: Enjoy today

* Dharma at Fight The Misery Conspirary

* Mary Anne: Primary Purpose. Not posting.

* Meg at Tidal Wave

* One drunk to another at Its in the Book

* Shannon at Todaay

· Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.

—1 Peter 5:8-9

Alcoholic Bloggers over 15yrs

* Ginnie at Goldendaze

* Owen at Came to Believe: 'wikki' blog: ANYONE can post

* Pam; Sobriety is Exhausting

* Trinker at Alcoholic Diary

* Vetver. Second Surrender

and the devil who had deceived them was thrown into the lake of fire and sulfur where the beast and the false prophet were, and they will be tormented day and night foreveand ever.
—Revelation 20:10
Alcoholic Bloggers over 20yrs

* 2Dogs! at Two Dogs Blogging
* A M Duke at Sober Conversations
* Doc a at Relationships in Recovery
* Jeani's Blog
* Linda at Sober Lady 29.5yrs!
* Martha at Bouncing off the Bottom

But I am afraid that as the serpent deceived Eve by his cunning, your thoughts will be led astray from a sincere and pure devotion to Christ.

—2 Corinthians 11:3


MICKY said...

I imagine 12 Step recovery programs are a slow slide into the jaws of Satan. I was involved with this evil “satanic cult” [AA] for over 30 years but was saved through the power of Jesus Christ.

He directed me to a therapist who was into “real” recovery, not the mind destroying, soul destroying, cult, which is AA. I have met two Steppers recently & I imagine they are completely devoid of any emotion or insight.

I feel pain because both these men are decent human beings but AA has destroyed their individuality & they have no idea how to relate apart from expounding AA propaganda. I imagine Hell to be a continuous flow of AA meetings without any light at the end of the tunnel because one never recovers'. I beg you people who are in 12 Step programs, to get out before it is too late.

How does one recover when one is handing one’s power over to AA. The 12 Steps were written out of Wilson’s head, he certainly didn’t get his guidance from the Bible. I imagine he was an agent of Satan & he & Smith’s “cult religion” has filled millions of Steppers with their anti - Christ propaganda.

Step Three of AA is "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him." While many in the Oxford Group placed their faith in Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour, there was much leeway given. Shoemaker, a leader of the Oxford Group, says, "The true meaning of faith is self-surrender to God." He further explains:

Surrender to whatever you know about Him, or believe must be the truth about Him. Surrender to Him, if necessary, in total ignorance of Him. Far more important that you touch Him than that you understand Him at first. Put yourself in His hands.

Whatever He is, as William James said, He is more ideal than we are. Make the leap. Give yourself to Him.

Aside from capitalizing the "H," which Christians do to refer to the God of the Bible, "Him" could refer to any god of one’s own making [bedpan].

Can you see what is happening to you? Ask Jesus to take control of your lives, read the Bible & instead of 12 Step groups, go to Church. Burn your Big Book or use it as toilet paper. Can you see the difference: With The 12 Steps, you never recover but with John 3:16 you are guaranteed Eternal Salvation. The “ball is in your court”?


MICKY said...

You know, the message the 12 Step Paradigm tells us that we are all just powerless over our addictions, meaningless specks of offal in an endless ocean of space and matter where hydrogen atoms and bacteria of unexplained origin can turn into god as you understand him!!

Oooo! It’s so exciting and uplifting to be regularly assured by Steppers in all their ineffable knowledge and function is just an accumulation of 1st Century Christianity Buchmanism & Nihilism.

Oooo! It’s heart-warming, I’ll tell ya. We owe these "messengers" so terribly much that it is difficult to put into words... We can talk to dead people & consult spiritists.

9 When you enter the land the LORD your God is giving you, do not learn to imitate the detestable ways of the nations there. 10 Let no one be found among you who sacrifice his son or daughter in the fire, who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, 11 or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritist or who consults the dead. 12 Anyone who does these things is detestable to the LORD, and because of these detestable practices the LORD your God will drive out those nations before you. 13 You must be blameless before the LORD your God [Deuteronomy 18: 9-13]

Wilson was a “detestable necromancer” who talked to dead people & consulted spiritists. He was “an angel of light” and if you Steppers want what he had, keep going to 12 Step meetings & end up as zombies.

I beg of you to see the True Light [John 3: 16] & have Eternal Life, not death [12 Steps].


MICKY said...


I imagine 12 STEPPERS have sold their souls to the devil. Fortunately, I was saved through the power of Jesus Christ, but for many years had been exposed to the evil “satanic cult” (Alcoholics Anonymous) Wilson (AA) has prostituted himself & deluded many thousands (12 Step Groups) by worshipping the god Moloch (Ba’al the Sacred Bull). It all started with his (Wilson) “drug induced hallucination”….

Here are references to seances and other psychic events….

Bill would…”get” these things …long sentences, word by word would come through….” (22)

, he asked for guidance….The words began tumbling out with astonishing speed….(23)

So A.A.’s 12 Steps were actually received verbatim from the demonic world. It is not surprising, then, that the effect of A.A. upon many of its members is to lead them into occult involvement. In 1958, Wilson wrote to Sam Shoemaker,

Throughout A.A., we find a large amount of psychic phenomena, nearly all of it spontaneous. Alcoholic after alcoholic tells me of such experiences… run nearly the full gamut of everything we see in the books.

In addition to my original mystical experience, I’ve had a lot of such phenomenalism myself.(24)

Wilson’s “original mystical experience” was his alleged “conversion” –a classic occult encounter: “Suddenly the room lit up with a great white light. I was caught up into an ecstasy…it burst upon me that I was a free man…a wonderful feeling of Presence, and I thought to myself, ‘So this is the God of the preachers! ‘ A great peace stole over me….”(25)

This was not the “God of the preachers” but the one who transforms himself “into an angel of light” (2 Cor 1l:l4)-a light that often transforms those involved in the occult. The experience was so profound that Wilson never touched alcohol again. Satan would he more than willing to deliver a man from alcoholism in this life if thereby he could ensnare him for eternity and inspire him to lead millions to the same destruction!

Wilson joined the Oxford Group and regularly attended its meetings at Calvary Church (NY), pastored by Episcopalian Sam Shoemaker. Shoemaker urged his hearers to “accept God however they might conceive of him….”(26) Here was the origin of Step 3’s “God as we understood him.” God does not respond to those who call upon false gods. Jesus said, “And this is life eternal, that they might know thee, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent” (Jn 17:3). God’s judgment comes upon them “that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ (2 Thes 1:8).

I will set my face against that man & his family & will cut off from their people both him & all who follow him in prostituting themselves to MolechI will set my face against the person who turns to mediums & spiritists to prostitute himself by following them, & I will cut him off from his people. (Leviticus 20: 5, 6)

Moloch the God Ba’al, the Sacred Bull, was widely worshipped in the ancient Near East and wherever Carthaginian culture extended. Baal Moloch was conceived under the form of a calf or an ox or depicted as a man with the head of a bull.

Hadad, Baal or simply the King identified the god within his cult. The name Moloch is not the name he was known by among his worshippers, but a HebrewMoloch (in the Septuagint Greek translation of the Old Testament), or Molech (Hebrew), is no different than the word Melech or king, transformed by interposing the vowels of bosheth or ’shameful thing’. translation. The written form.
He is sometimes also called Milcom in the Old Testament.

I beg you Steppers to to get out while you can (12 Step) or end up as emotionally shutdown, raging, cowardly, anti - Christ, shape - shifting, Bill Wilson zombie.


MICKY said...

I imagine AA to be a cancerous growth in our society. I'm a recovered alcoholic who has been sober for over 22 years. I've seen this "cult" virtually destroy people where they become these Bill & Bob zombies devoid of any emotion.

I imagine most of the Steppers are not dealing with their core issues and become addicted to the "droning Bill & Bob heads" who pop up and expel meaningless diatribe from their mouths. Alcoholism is the only "disease" one doesn't recover from & one is continually confessing ones non - existent sins, which intensify the guilt and fear when one is not at a meeting (indoctrination session).

I imagine AA meetings numb and shutdown the critical thinking section of ones brain. I know a guy who has been sober for over 30 years and I imagine him to be quite mad - he doesn't even know what he's feeling most of the time apart from feeling depressed.

I imagine AA to be the road to hell and that it's anti - Christ and the Steppers sell their souls to the "cult", because they are too terrified to face their “demons” & recover their true selves.

That "inner child" who is waiting to be freed is slowly pushed down until it disappears into oblivion. That "child" is God! "Unless you become like little children...." "The kingdom of God is within you!"

I hear things like; "I need to do the Steps!" "I need more meetings!" "I had cancer or my wife died or I lost my job!" "But! Guess what! I didn't pick up a drink". They might as well say; "I fell of my chair but I didn’t pick up a drink”! "Meaningless”! Why? Because one is not expressing ones feelings! Ones process is all about feelings! How does one recover if one doesn’t feel ones pain, fear, & shame & understand that these feelings, especially if they are overwhelming; are feelings, from ones childhood.

All AA does is suppress these feelings until one ends up a semi - depressed zombie like the lunatic who has been sober for over 30 years. Can you see how dangerous this "cult" is?

A madman, Bill Wilson, started it and if you want to end up like him, keep going to meetings. The sure way to insanity is "Meetings!" "Meetings!" "Meetings!"


MICKY said...

"Hey Bob"

Hey, hey BOB, my higher power, will always do
I've waited so long for BOOZE to be through
BOB, I can't wait to meet you
My love, my love

Hey BILL, I've had a BRAINSTORM too
Hey, hey, hey BILL, I want to meet you too
If your PROGRAM is true, if you love AA, BILL!!
The BIG BOOK will always be real
My love, my love

AA means planning a life for two
Being together the whole day through
True SOBRIETY means waiting and hoping that soon
SATANISM will come true
My love, my love


MICKY said...


From Bill's Story:
Co - founder of AA, Bill Wilson's story has been in every edition of the book Alcoholics Anonymous.

With ministers, and the world's religions, I parted right there. When they talked of a God personal to me, who was love, superhuman strength and direction, I became irritated and my mind snapped shut against such a theory.

To Christ I conceded the certainty of a great man, not too closely followed by those who claimed Him. His moral teaching -- most excellent. For myself, I had adopted those parts which seemed convenient and not too difficult; the rest I disregarded.

My friend suggested what then seemed a novel idea. He said, "Why don't you choose your own conception of God?"

That statement hit me hard. It melted the icy intellectual mountain in whose shadow I had lived and shivered many years. I stood in the sunlight at last.

It was only a matter of being willing to believe in a Power greater than myself. Nothing more was required of me to make my beginning. I saw that growth could start from that point. Upon a foundation of complete willingness I might build what I saw in my friend. Would I have it? Of course I would!

Thus was I convinced that God is concerned with us humans when we want Him enough. At long last I saw, I felt, I believed. Scales of pride and prejudice fell from my eyes. A new world came into view.

The real significance of my experience in the Cathedral burst upon me. For a brief moment, I had needed and wanted God. There had been a humble willingness to have Him with me -- and He came. But soon the sense of His presence had been blotted out by worldly clamors, mostly those within myself. And so it had been ever since. How blind I had been.

At the hospital I was separated from alcohol for the last time. Treatment seemed wise, for I showed signs of delirium tremens.

There I humbly offered myself to God, as I then I understood Him, to do with me as He would. I placed myself unreservedly under His care and direction. I admitted for the first time that of myself I was nothing; that without Him I was lost. I ruthlessly faced my sins and became willing to have my new-found Friend take them away, root and branch. I have not had a drink since. Simple, but not easy; a price had to be paid. It meant destruction of self-centeredness. I must turn in all things to the Father of Light who presides over us all.

These were revolutionary and drastic proposals, but the moment I fully accepted them, the effect was electric. There was a sense of victory, followed by such a peace and serenity as I had never know. There was utter confidence. I felt lifted up, as though the great clean wind of a mountain top blew through and through. God comes to most men gradually, but His impact on me was sudden
and profound.

For a moment I was alarmed, and called my friend, the doctor, to ask if I were still sane. He listened in wonder as I talked.

Finally he shook his head saying, "Something has happened to you I don't understand. But you had better hang on to it. Anything is better than the way you were." The good doctor now sees many men who have such experiences. He knows that they are real.

While I lay in the hospital the thought came that there were thousands of hopeless alcoholics who might be glad to have what had been so freely given me. Perhaps I could help some of them. They in turn might work with others.

There is no mention of JESUS CHRIST in the BIG BOOK or the 12 STEPS. Wilson was used by SATAN to delude millions of people.

John 3:16 (chapter 3, verse 16 of the Gospel of John) is one of the most widely quoted verses from the Christian Bible. It has been called the "Bible in a nutshell" because it is considered a summary of some of the most central doctrines of traditional Christianity:

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have eternal life.

A typical interpretation of the verse might go as follows:
· For God so loved the world... - God is a God of love and this love motivates his action in the rest of the verse
· ...that he gave... - there was God giving something, his son as a sacrifice
· ...his only begotten[1] Son... - the human Jesus of Nazareth is also the Son of God, and also the Second Person of the Trinity
· ...that whosoever... - that salvation is open to all who will believe
· ...believeth... - being saved is based on belief or faith, rather than based on human works.
· ...in Him... - the belief being in Jesus, the Saviour
· ...should not perish... - implies the fate of those who do not believe, that is the doctrine of hell
· ...but have everlasting life. - shows the reward of those who believe, that is the doctrine of heaven.


MICKY said...

Anonymous said...
I cannot tell you how many AA meetings I left, thinking that if my choices were to be in AA or drink, I'd choose drinking.

I went to my first meeting 30 years ago. I am most qualified to speak for AA.

Micky Said:
Greetings Anonymous [Emotional Coward]
I imagine that your brain has been completely altered with Bill Wilson’s anti – Christ propaganda [AA]. I’ll let you into a little secret, Anonymous [SHIFT SHAPING REPTILE], one can stay sober without the need for AA meetings – I have!! The only qualifications you have, Anonymous [Bill Wilson Clone], are the qualifications you received from SATAN, when you abandoned yourself to him, 30 years ago [AA].

MICKY said...

"Agents For Satan"

MICKY said...



Is not the time coming, and the day hastening, when covetous men shall be ashamed of loving the world, and voluptuous men ashamed of loving their pleasures, and ambitious men ashamed of loving their honors?

For is it not a horrid shame, that a rational creature should be such a sot as to love sin which is most loathsome, and not to love Jesus who is most lovely? to love deformity, and not beauty?

Oh shame, shame! It is a shame that sin should have such esteem, and Jesus such great contempt put upon him. But shame shall before long confound these now shameless wretches, when they shall cry out, "We are ashamed that we loved profits, and not Jesus- houses, lands, lusts, and not Jesus.

This is the confusion of our faces, and shame covers us-- that we should be so foolish, and so blind, that we had not sense, nor reason, to distinguish between sin, which is the greatest and most odious evil, and Jesus who is the greatest and most lovely good." But the time will never come, the day will never be, that a gracious soul shall be ashamed of his sincere love to Jesus Christ.


MICKY said...

Hello darkness, my old friend,
Ive come to talk crap again,
An AA meeting softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
And the 12 Steps that were planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of sobriety.

In restless meetings I walked alone
Bill Wilson Clones, made of stone
Neath the halo of an OLD TIMER,
I turned my collar to the 1st and 3rd Step
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of
That split the night
And touched the sound of sobriety.

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand STEPPERS, maybe more.
STEPPERS reading the BIG BOOK,
STEPPERS hearing without listening,
STEPPERS writing their 4th STEP
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of sobriety.

Zombies said I, you do not know
Sobriety like a cancer grows.
Hear my words that I might BRAINWASH you,
Take my arms that I might 13th Step you.
But my words like the higher power fell,
And echoed
In the halls of sobriety

And the STEPPERS ranted and raved
To the AA god they made.
And the sign flashed out its warning,
In the words that it was forming.
And the sign said, KEEP COMING BACK
And the 12 STEP ZOMBIES.
Whispered in the sounds of sobriety.

MICKY said...


Don’t take the 12 STEPS away from me
Don’t leave my SPONSOR in misery
If you go then I’ll have to CHAIR A MEETING
‘Cause WAKING up his hard to do

Remember when you held my BIG BOOK
And you 13th STEPPED me all through the night
Think of all the CRAP, we’ve talked
Our HIGHER POWER will be mad
WAKING up Is Hard To Do

They say HOW IT WORKS, is hard to do
Now I know, I know that it’s true
There are no DUES or FEES
WAKING up is hard to do

I beg of you, to be FEARLESS & THOROUGH
Can’t we give our OLD IDEAS another try
Come on baby, let’s do a STEP or TWO
WAKING up is hard to do.

MICKY said...

Rarely have we seen a person fail who thoroughly followed us home. Those who are not BRAINWASHED are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this "simple" garbage, usually men and women who are constitutionally capable of thinking for themselves.

There are such fortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born premature. They are naturally capable of building and developing muscles, which demands rigorous training. Their chances are 6/4 on.

There are those, too, who are gravediggers and undertakers, but many of them do become ZOMBIES if they have the capacity to be dishonest.

Our stories disclose in a twisted way, who we like, what happened, and who we hate now. If you have decided you want a cup of tea and are willing to go to any lengths to become emotionally shutdown, SHIFT SHAPING REPTILES - then you are ready to take certain steps.

At some of these we balked, we thought we could find someone to 13th Step. And we realised, we could. With all the madness at our command, we beg of you to become Bill Wilson Clones - from the very start.

Some of us have tried to hold on to our BIG BOOKS and the result was nil until we let go of our SPONSORS.

Remember that we deal with alcohol, frothy, bubbly, and powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is one who has all power that one is the BARMAN. May you find Him now!

Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the bar. We asked the BARMAN for a couple of stiff vodka's. Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program to INSANITY:

1.We admitted we were powerless over Coca - Cola, and decided to drink Pepsi, instead.
2.Came to believe that Cold Power was a detergent.
3.Made a decision to turn our heads when we saw an attractive blonde.
4.Did a body search of the new members.
5.Admitted to our DOG, to elves, and to another super being the exact nature of our songs.
6.Were entirely ready to have SUPERMAN remove the effects of kryptonite.
7.Humbly asked CLARK KENT to remove our brains.
8.Made a list of all persons who owed us money, and became willing to charge them interest.
9.Made direct hits wherever possible, except when someone moved the target.
10.Continued to talk crap and when we were wrong, promptly talked more crap.
11.Sought through our mail and computer to improve our conscious contact with BATMAN, as we understood him, praying only for knowledge of ROBIN and the return of SPIDERMAN.
12.Having had a stroke as the result of these steps, we tried to carry out the garbage, and fell flat on our backs.

Many of us exclaimed, "What an order! I can't go through with it." Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain their homes and 13th Step the newcomers, at the same time.

We are not psychopaths. The point is, that we are willing to become psychotic. The principles we have set down are guides to psychosis. We claim that Bill Wilson was a psychopath.

Our description of the landscape, the chapter to the Gnostic, and our family photos before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:
(a) That we were ugly and could not manage our own appearance.
(b) That probably no photographer could have improved our looks.
(c) That a PLASTIC SURGEON could and would if he were sought.