Alcoholism in the family

The effects of alcoholism in a spouse can be devastating not only for the marriage but for the children as well. Because the alcoholic spends an inordinate amount of time thinking about and consuming alcohol, it robs the other family members of his attention and love.

How can you tell if your spouse is an alcoholic? There are several signs to look for:

* A history of alcoholism in the family. People inherit a hereditary predisposition for alcoholism. All of us can become addicted to alcohol if we drink enough of it, but those with a history of alcoholism in their families become addicted more easily than those without this history.
* A history of heavy drinking. The earlier a person began to drink, the more years he has been drinking, the more frequently he drinks and the more he consumes, the more likely it is that he has become addicted to alcohol. Any amount beyond two drinks each time alcohol is consumed suggests the potential for a problem.
* Denial about one's drinking. Alcohol has become the alcoholic's best friend because it always provides her with a high or temporary relief from stress. As a result, she will do anything to protect her use of it. Even when it is obvious to everyone else, the alcoholic will vigorously deny she has a problem. One person with a twenty year history of heavy drinking and five alcohol-related arrests told me with a straight face he didn't have a drinking problem. End of discussion. Another who admitted he had been drinking a six pack of beer every day for twenty-five years denied he was addicted to alcohol. Alcoholics show us how great is the human capacity for denial and self-delusion!
* Problems caused by drinking. DUI arrests, bad fights at home, absenteeism at work, complaints of friends, spouses and children, medical conditions caused by drinking--all are indications that alcohol has become a serious problem.
* Blackouts. Blackouts are a loss of memory, but not a loss of consciousness, which occur when a person is intoxicated. Others remember, perhaps all to painfully, what she did last night, but the alcoholic can't recall a thing.
* Preoccupation with drinking. Making sure there is an adequate supply of alcohol at a party or in the house. Also, drinking before a party.
* Gulping alcohol. Drinking quickly to get the high as soon as possible.
* Sneaking drinks. Hiding bottles in the house.
* Loss of control of drinking. If a person plans to stop at the local bar for two beers and often stays much longer until he's intoxicated, chances are he has a drinking problem. The bottom line question about alcohol is, "Do you control it or does it control you?"
* Failure to stop drinking. Let's assume a person has become concerned about her drinking and so vows to stop or control it. The fact that she can't is another sign that drinking has become a serious problem for her.

For an alcoholic to seek help, he has to decide himself he has a drinking problem. If you think your spouse is an alcoholic, I'll discuss in my next article what you can do to help him make that decision.

Source: http://www.enhancedhealing.com/

Child Abuse

Child abuse is widespread and can occur in any cultural, ethnic, and income group. Child abuse can be physical, emotional, verbal, or sexual. It can also result from neglect. Abuse can result in serious injury to the child and even possible death.

Studies show that one in four girls and one in eight boys are sexually abused before the age of 18, and that approximately one in 20 children are physically abused each year. Physical abuse involves harming a child by, for example, burning, beating, or breaking their bones. Sexual abuse occurs when there is inappropriate touching of a child's breasts or genitalia, or by someone exposing their genitalia to a child. Neglect can include physical neglect, such as withholding food, clothing, shelter, or other necessities. Emotional neglect includes withholding love or comfort or affection. Medical neglect occurs when medical care is withheld.

Symptoms

Children who are abused are often afraid to complain; they are fearful that they will be blamed or that no one will believe them. Parents are often unable to recognize symptoms of abuse because they may not want to face the truth. A child who has been abused needs access to special support and treatment as soon as possible. The longer the abuse continues, the less likely the child will make full recovery.

Watch out for unexplained changes in your child's body or behavior. Conduct a formal examination only if you have reason to suspect your child has been abused. Otherwise, the child may become fearful. Be alert to any of the following changes:

Signs of Physical Abuse: Any injury (bruise, burn, fracture, abdominal or head injury) that cannot be explained

Signs of Sexual Abuse: Fearful behavior (nightmares, depression, unusual fears, attempts to run away) Abdominal pain, bedwetting, urinary tract infection, genital pain or bleeding, sexually transmitted disease Extreme sexual behavior that seems inappropriate for the child's age

Signs of Emotional Abuse: Sudden change in self-confidence Headaches or stomachaches with no medical cause Abnormal fears, increased nightmares Attempts to run away

Signs of Emotional Neglect: Failure to gain weight (especially in infants) Desperately affectionate behavior Voracious appetite and stealing food

Causes

Abuse can happen in a variety of family settings. However, abuse is more likely to occur in families that are isolated and have no friends, relatives, church, or other support. Parents who suffered childhood abuse are more likely to abuse their own children. Alcohol and drug abuse also increases the likelihood that child abuse will occur. Parents who are overly critical, who are very rigid in their disciplining methods, who show too much or too little concern for their child, and who are under extreme stress are more likely to abuse their child.

Abusive parents often do not intend to hurt their children. Usually they are lashing out in anger, but a single episode increases the likelihood that other instances will occur. Such parents need professional help to develop coping strategies.

Treatment

If you suspect a child has been abused, contact a pediatrician or a local child protective agency for help. Physicians are legally obligated to report all suspected cases of abuse or neglect to state authorities. They can also recommend a therapist and provide the necessary information for investigators. Doctors may also testify in court to obtain legal protection for the child and to criminally prosecute an individual suspected of engaging in sexual abuse.

Whatever the nature of the abuse, steps should be taken immediately to report the abuse and obtain help. Delaying a report decreases the child's chances for full recovery. Oftentimes, a child who has been abused or maltreated will become depressed and develop suicidal, withdrawn, or violent behavior. As the child grows older, they may turn to drugs or alcohol, attempt to run away, or they may refuse discipline and abuse others. Childhood abuse may also result in sexual difficulties, depression or suicidal behavior in adulthood.

If your child has been abused, you may be the only person who can help him. Do not delay reporting your suspicions of abuse. Denying the problem will only worsen the situation; allowing the abuse to continue decreases the child's chance for full recovery. In most cases, children who are abused or neglected suffer greater emotional than physical damage. A child who is severely mistreated may become depressed or develop suicidal, withdrawn, or violent behavior. The younger the child and the closer the child's relationship is to the abuser, the more serious the emotional damage will be. As adults, they may develop marital and sexual difficulties, depression or suicidal behavior.

If you suspect child abuse of any kind, you should:

* Take the child to a quiet, private area
* Gently encourage the child to give you enough information to evaluate whether abuse may have occurred
* Remain calm; do not upset the child
* If the child reveals the abuse, reassure her that you believe her, that she is right to tell you, and that she is not bad
* Tell the child you are going to talk to persons who can help
* Record all information
* Immediately report the suspected abuse to the proper local authorities

Sources:

* American Psychiatric Association
* National Library of Medicine

The emotional trauma of early teen sex

The pressure to have sex is one of the major issues that have plagued teenagers for decades. With hormones raging and peer pressure the urge for sexual exploration will increase. Some will give into the urge but they should consider both the physical risk and emotional turmoil.

Often, parents dread the very thought, let alone the knowledge, that their little girl or boy is having sex. However, it is important that parents put aside their fears and deal with the reality and give them 'the birds-and-bees talk' at an ideal age.

Marcus Williams, a father of two boys and two girls, said he had the talk with his girls when they were 14 years old. "My opening statement was, 'I don't grow grandchildren, they visit me'."

He said he does not talk to them about protection. Rather he believes in abstinence. He told them that education opens many doors and that should be their focus.

"I told them not to give in to peer pressure and they must not be afraid to come to me or their mother for advice."

He notes that he made sure that the types of friends they keep have positive values and are well mannered. Plus, when it comes to sleepovers, he ensures that their friends' parents are people who he is comfortable with.

He told Flair that as it relates to the boys he gives them the talk at 16 years old. He uses the same opening statement. However, he said he does not focus on abstinence, but on protection. "I let them know it is not just about protecting themselves from becoming a father but also protection against sexually transmitted infections (STIs)."

Homosexuals

He notes that he does not come down on the boys too hard if they are sexually active before the talk because they might go the other way and his major concern is that they not become homosexuals.

Fathers more protective

Sex therapist, Dr. Sidney McGill, advises that fathers tend to be more protective than mothers, especially of the girls, and often advocate abstinence.

He said that one has to look at the reasons other than teens libido why they want to have sex so early. Is it because of peer pressure? If not, is it depression? Or are there relationship problems with parents?

"If a teen is sexually active, then the implication of sex, even safe sex, may not prevent STIs," said Dr. McGill. In a sexual relationship, one has to make an emotional investment and adolescents are not good at coping with the complexities of such a relationship. He said that kind of relationship would open a world that exposes them to the potential of getting hurt.

He further stated that teens usually have to cope with academics and extra-curricular activities and entering in a sexual relationship can add more stress. Instead of parents telling their children whether or not to have sex, Dr. McGill said, "They should supervise the kind of friends they keep. Plus, cultivate an open-door policy with them so they feel free to discuss anything with you. The fact is that children need the emotional experience of their parents.

Silent Epidemic

According to the most recent study by the National Household Survey on Drug Abuse, nearly seventeen million Americans have tried huffing or inhaling the intoxicating fumes from common household products. Despite a small decline in huffing since 1995, experts say that millions of American kids will try huffing at least once, and some of those will develop a habit. This is the “silent epidemic” and it needs to be more recognized.

Easy access to chemicals makes huffing a popular alternative for teens. Inhalants effect the biological and neurobiological involvement by abusing brain receptors in the neurotransmitter system. These areas of the brain change by an action of the different chemicals, which are facilitated by inhaling or breathing in enough molecular levels to change the biological influences, which leads to intoxication.

More adolescents are using inhalants than those who use illicit drugs. Teenagers who might never try illegal drugs may try inhalants because they are legal, and easy to access. Inhalants are inexpensive and relatively easy to steal. Inhalants come in many shapes and forms. Kids find it in spray paint, glue, shoe polish, and Toluene. Studies show that white Caucasians and Hispanics among the ages of twelve to seventeen are more likely to use inhalants. In junior high schools, teens find easy access to chemicals located in the wood shop, auto shop, and the janitor closet that will get them high. Parents need to be educated, as well as teachers, coaches, counselors, and young children to the warning signs of intoxication from inhalants, and that every day chemicals can be used for this purpose.

There are one thousand common household products that can be used for intoxicating proposes. These volatile chemicals such as Toluene and other fumes, can be inhaled and offer a rush that lasts for forty five minutes or more. These products are legal, inexpensive, and easy to get. Studies have shown that it is easy to walk into any hardware store and walk out with a can of paint thinner, or any other chemical that can be used to get high by huffing.

Stephen Dewey, an inhalant researcher at the U.S. Department of Energy in Brookhaven New York, says that many parents and school teachers don’t even realize how easy and dangerous these products are, and that they are being used by our youth to get high. Addiction is just one of the many pitfalls that kids who huff go through. Many kids turn to inhalants as a cheap and easy way to get high; yet huffing can easily turn into a fatal mistake. Inhalants can trigger a dangerously irregular heartbeat, even in the first time user. These kids may start out laughing or giddy, and several minutes later they are dead.

We have no accurate statistics on how many kids have died from huffing, due to the fact that many of these deaths are mistakenly documented as suicides or accidents. Their friends don’t want to get caught so they say that they were depressed and that it probably was a suicide. The parents hope that if they deny there is a problem it might go away; they don’t want their child’s name dragged through the mud by the stigma of addiction. This way the huffer never gets found out. Denial is a subtle foe and with it comes unresolved issues regarding the danger and abuse of inhalants.

The following are some known substances that are categorized as being abused by inhalation:
• Hydrocarbons
• Nitrites
• Anesthetics
• Alcohol
• Halogen compounds
• Airplane glue
• Scotch-guard
• Pam cooking sprays
• Carbon tetrachloride - used in swimming pools
• Gasoline
• Paint thinner
• Butane
• White out or correction fluid
• Colored markers

There are other items too numerous to list, because there are over fourteen hundred known substances that are categorized as a capable substance that can be abused by huffing.

Often children are abusing inhalants right in front of us, and without our knowledge. The youth of today abuse potentially toxic substances because they like how it makes them feel. It may produce a feeling of euphoria, which is associated with inhalants. As parents, teachers, counselors, and any other professional, we should fear that inhalant abuse could become the “in thing” to do in our neighborhoods schools and that peer pressure will prompt others to experiment with toxic inhalant products.

There are physical and mental complications associated with inhalant abuse. These include:
• Cardiac arrhythmias
• Suffocation
• Asphyxia
• Unintended trauma
• Damage to the optic nerve
• Diminishing of cognitive abilities
• Kidney damage
• Liver damage
• Heart diseases
• Bone disease
• Breathing disruptions

Worst yet, according to medical professionals it is a fact that few young people care or feel that the above things will ever happen to them. Statistically it does happen and most children that suffer from any of these ailments eventually die at a young age. Inhalers that abuse chemicals have permanent brain damage and an increase of problems with their organs, such as the lungs, heart, and liver.

There is hope to this bleak epidemic if the public can recognize the dangers that inhalants pose, and that through our resources we will become more aware of what is going on with our youth. There are many studies and information available to help in resolving the silent and deadly abuse of inhalants.

Source: http://www.teendrugabuse.us/inhalants.html

What You Should Know About Mixing Alcohol and OTC Meds

There are endless reasons to stay away from alcohol when taking over-the-counter medications. Alcohol can cause confusion, enhanced side effects, and even death with certain over the counter products. Here are a few things to consider before you mix alcohol with OTC meds:

Alcohol & Meds Together Can Overload Your Liver

When you drink alcohol, your liver is responsible for eliminating it from your system. This is why people with alcoholism get liver failure, because they're livers are overworked for years and years. Your liver also cleanses out toxic byproducts of OTC medications.

Unfortunately, this vital cleansing quality of liver is literally overloaded when you mix certain medications with alcohol. Your liver can't handle all the toxins you've put into your body, and then you're basically poisoned. Consequences can range from an elevated heart rate to death. To avoid potential poisoning, be sure to read all OTC labels and ask your doctor or pharmacist how much alcohol you can safely drink with your OTC meds.

Alcohol Can Worsen Side Effects

If alcohol doesn't directly damage your body, it still has the potential to exacerbate side effects associated with the OTC medications you're taking. Drowsiness and fogginess are common, and these worsened side effects can be dangerous when driving or operating heavy machinery.

It's Easy to Get Confused about Your Meds When Drunk

Yet another reason why mixing meds and alcohol is this: when you're drunk or even just have a buzz, you're less likely to take your medications correctly. You might forget to read the label, you might take the wrong dosage, or you might even take the wrong medicine all together. Even when dealing with over-the-counter drugs, it is essential to be lucid and intelligible when you taking any kind of measured medication.

Don't Be Afraid to Ask Your Local Pharmacist...

If you want to be positive that your OTC medications mixed with a night of partying won't produce undesirable side effects, don't hesitate to ask your local pharmacist any questions you can think of. This is the best way to definitively be informed about drug-alcohol interactions you could experience, aside from leaving warning labels on the OTC meds themselves. Trusted medical websites such as WebMD.com are also great places to go for drug information and answers you're looking for.

Mixing alcohol with over the counter medications is rarely a good idea, and you can avoid horrible side effects simply by being informed with labels and information. I hope this article has assisted you. Good luck!

author: Lisa Belle
associatedcontent.com

Updating drug, alcohol, sex education in school

Although the Drug Abuse Resistance Education program, better known as DARE, is common in school districts and is very popular among elementary-age students, the lessons are outdated and need to be revamped.

Suffolk County Police Commissioner Richard Dormer is advocating a new program, called Enhanced HealthSmart, in place of DARE.

Enhanced HealthSmart will include what DARE covers but will include other topics such as Internet safety, nutrition, bullying, injury, unintended pregnancy and other sex education.

It also will be tailored to the needs and specifics of individual school districts, providing more flexibility than the DARE program.

Throughout elementary school I thought that the DARE program was extremely informational, and I believed it was going to make my school a better place. I now realize that I was so naive. Now that I am five years older and much more aware of what is actually going on in my community, I realize that the program has done next to nothing to help the drug, alcohol or violence issues that exist.

Although many students, including myself, choose to remain drug-free, there are many who do not. The students who resist the use of drugs or alcohol simply have willpower; they do not necessarily retain the information from DARE.

Although a major highlight of DARE was the interaction between the police officers and the students, police officers can be frightening to children who have only heard negative comments about them.

DARE has always tried to be a family-oriented program, but it tends to pit kids against their parents. In a number of communities around the country, students have been enlisted by DARE officers as informants against their parents.

As much as I feel that it is unacceptable to allow drugs or the overuse of alcohol in a house with young children - or in any situation, for that matter - I also believe children should not be pitted against their parents.

Another downside to the original program is that it teaches misleading information. According to the DARE program, Marlboro Light cigarettes, Bacardi rum and a drag from a joint are all equally dangerous. That information has been proven untrue.

The decision to end the DARE program was a good one. Enhanced HealthSmart is a much more beneficial program.

author: Alexa Bennett-Rosman |
Alexa Bennett- Rosman is a senior at Rocky Point High School.

source: newsday.com

Book tries to crack facade

Jose Rosado walks next to the tree in Bethlehem where his mentor and Bethlehem Area School District educator Iris Cintron challenged him to turn his life around by enrolling in college. He is now an assistant principal at East Hills Middle School in the district.

Jose Rosado has told his story to individuals and small groups, always with the hope that it will inspire someone to change his life.

It begins in poverty, in a brown paper bag of booze and a haze of marijuana smoke. It ends with Rosado as a successful educator in the Bethlehem Area School District, a respected community activist and occasional political candidate.

''I'm not worried about skeletons in the closet,'' said Rosado, 44, an assistant principal at East Hills Middle School. ''I let them out a long time ago.''

Now Rosado is hoping to reach a bigger audience. He's shelled out $9,000 to self-publish an autobiography about growing up poor in Bethlehem public housing, becoming a father as a pot-smoking, boozing 19-year-old college student and giving up alcohol cold turkey 17 years ago.

''Being Good At Being Bad: Troubled Teenagers, Factors and Solutions'' intersperses Rosado's experiences and beliefs with national statistics to outline what he believes leads to happy children becoming angry teenagers on the brink of failure: broken homes, failed legislation and poor role models. The book, through infinitypublishing.com, sells for $13.95.

''Just by the feedback I've received from people, they are happy I've addressed many of these issues of troubled teens head-on,'' Rosado said. ''I'm willing to put myself out there with my thoughts on these controversial issues.''

While making money on the book would be nice, Rosado said, he is not holding out hope his book will become a best-seller. He is not embarrassed that he went the self-publishing route after a few traditional publishing houses turned him down. He's not worried about what people may think of him or his beliefs. He's just happy he had the guts to write what he has been preaching for more than two decades.

Rosado retold his story late last year while sitting on a shopping cart abandoned under a tree near Lebanon Street and Eastwood Road in Bethlehem's Marvine-Pembroke development. Rosado grew up there after his first home was razed in the South Terrace development in south Bethlehem.

Rosado knew what the shopping cart symbolized: poverty and despair. It was probably left there by a public housing resident who couldn't afford a car, he said, so it was used to get groceries home and abandoned, much like the resident's own dreams of a better life.

Rosado recalled that it was under the same tree 25 years earlier when he decided to retrieve his dreams, with a not-so-gentle nudging from longtime Bethlehem Area School District educator Iris Cintron.

''I was working at Hardy's on Airport Road; they've been closed forever,'' Rosado said. ''I came home, showered, shaved and did my normal routine. I grabbed a quart of beer and relaxed under the tree. Iris happened to be driving by, stopped, got out of the car and said, 'What are you planning to do?'''

With Cintron's guidance, Rosado put down the spatula that earned him minimum wage, got two college degrees and became a school guidance counselor and administrator who has used his personal experience of growing up and getting out of the projects to help individual students.

Cintron said Rosado's personal story connects with students.

''The kinds of barriers Jose has faced and the kinds of mountains he's had to climb are the same mountains many of our kids face on a daily basis,'' said Cintron, now the district's supervisor of Minority Affairs/Governmental Programs and Grants.

As far as his book is concerned, Cintron said, the ideas are Rosado's, not her's or the school district's. But she said his book makes you think.

Bethlehem Police Commissioner Randy Miller got to know Rosado when Miller was a rookie patrolman in the Marvine-Pembroke development, which in the 1970s and 1980s was so rife with violence and drugs that when two police cars responded to a call, a third was brought in to guard the cars. While he has not read Rosado's book, Miller said, he has always respected him for getting out of the developments.

''I always respected him for trying to better himself versus becoming another statistic,'' Miller said. ''He's a respected citizen.''

The new author does not pull punches in describing what he thinks leads to those grim statistics on dropouts, gangs, prisoners and substance abusers.

''What is 'Being Good At Being Bad?''' Rosado asked. ''Being good at being bad is a lifestyle, it's about status and recognition, it's about masking pain and failure with a tough facade.''

source: http://www.mcall.com